Miss Congeniality

What a great morning. Every morning I play a little game called Count the Garbage Left by Homeless People/Working Girls.
It's fun to play, but really, no one wins.
Here’s a list I’ve developed so far, and keep in mind, I’ve only played the game for a week:
• One left ankle boot, brown
• One blood trail, ending at top of steps
• Half dozen tiny Ziploc bags
• Three broken Bic lighters
• One bloody t-shirt looks to be size small. Logo on front endorses Bulldog Boxing. Angry bulldog
• Eight large Slurpie cups
• One, six-inch long PVC tube. Well used.
Again, it’s only been a week. This morning, I spotted an actual homeless person/working girl under the awning, and no, I’m not cruel enough to add her to my list. She was carrying what looked to be a piece of metal from a kid’s swing set and had her hair done up like Anne of Green Gables in Anne of Green Gables, The Sequel — you know, all puffy on top. Quite becoming actually.
She was crouched behind some shrubbery near the front door, and I looked over, surprised to see her, and said “Hello,” with a smile.
“Well hello Miss America,” she grumbled in return.
What a great morning.
Indeed, in this game no one wins. Not even Miss America.