Nowhere else in the province is there a radio station dedicated to covering traffic 24 hours per day.
And to be truthful, I no longer want to live in the only place in the province that boasts this amenity.
I want to go back to living somewhere where the biggest traffic jam is found at the entrance to the local liquor store on a Friday night.
I want to go back to living somewhere where the biggest traffic jam means waiting five minutes to cross the Overlander Bridge during “rush hour.”
That’s what I want, and I’ll tell you why.
Last night I left work at about 5:30 p.m. — keep in mind I don’t work in Downtown Vancouver, and I actually plotted my living/work arrangements so as to avoid traffic congestion.
Nevertheless, the quaint little boat known as the Albion Ferry always holds me hostage. It transports weary commuters back and forth between Maple Ridge and Fort Langley.
Last night, I arrived at the terminal shortly after 5:30 p.m. and was forced to park along the road because the parking lot was packed. Eventually I found my way into the parking lot where I proceeded to wait for more than an hour to catch a boat.
Finally, when I landed in Fort Langley, I trundled along Glover Road and spotted break lights ahead, snaking their way toward me, toward the ferry terminal.
After sitting, twiddling my fingers in my car for nearly half an hour, trying to use my telekinesis to get this line moving, I called the guy at AM 730 “All traffic, all the time,” to ask what’s up.
He told me there was a train stopped on the track blocking the entrance into Langley. That train had been sitting there for a half-hour at least, the wise traffic guru said.
One would think I’d just turn around, go another route, but the only route out of the situation would be to get in line at the ferry terminal and wait another hour, go back to where I came from and take the Port Mann bridge to Langley.
Ah, fun times.
Eventually the lineup got moving and I found myself traveling along a dirt road in a new housing development, winding along Fort Langley’s back roads, and finally getting home before the Office began at 8 p.m.
I live about 20 km from my work. It took me 2 ½ hours to get home.
I need a new job in a different part of the province.
You hiring?
