Nowhere else in the province is there a radio station dedicated to covering traffic 24 hours per day.
And to be truthful, I no longer want to live in the only place in the province that boasts this amenity.
I want to go back to living somewhere where the biggest traffic jam is found at the entrance to the local liquor store on a Friday night.
I want to go back to living somewhere where the biggest traffic jam means waiting five minutes to cross the Overlander Bridge during “rush hour.”
That’s what I want, and I’ll tell you why.
Last night I left work at about 5:30 p.m. — keep in mind I don’t work in Downtown Vancouver, and I actually plotted my living/work arrangements so as to avoid traffic congestion.
Nevertheless, the quaint little boat known as the Albion Ferry always holds me hostage. It transports weary commuters back and forth between Maple Ridge and Fort Langley.
Last night, I arrived at the terminal shortly after 5:30 p.m. and was forced to park along the road because the parking lot was packed. Eventually I found my way into the parking lot where I proceeded to wait for more than an hour to catch a boat.
Finally, when I landed in Fort Langley, I trundled along Glover Road and spotted break lights ahead, snaking their way toward me, toward the ferry terminal.
After sitting, twiddling my fingers in my car for nearly half an hour, trying to use my telekinesis to get this line moving, I called the guy at AM 730 “All traffic, all the time,” to ask what’s up.
He told me there was a train stopped on the track blocking the entrance into Langley. That train had been sitting there for a half-hour at least, the wise traffic guru said.
One would think I’d just turn around, go another route, but the only route out of the situation would be to get in line at the ferry terminal and wait another hour, go back to where I came from and take the Port Mann bridge to Langley.
Ah, fun times.
Eventually the lineup got moving and I found myself traveling along a dirt road in a new housing development, winding along Fort Langley’s back roads, and finally getting home before the Office began at 8 p.m.
I live about 20 km from my work. It took me 2 ½ hours to get home.
I need a new job in a different part of the province.
You hiring?
3 comments:
I'm not certain it would work in the lower mainland, but nonetheless, my proposal is this: Cease to make the working world exist only during the so-called "9 to 5er". Stagger shifts. Stagger traffic. Why is it that all those people in all those cubicles in all those office towers can only do their jobs between 9am and 5pm?
It would seem to be a fairly easy way to make rush hour extinct, or at least a bit less painful.
Dear Danna, You used to be Danna Johnson. When you said you were leaving Kamloops, I e-mailed you but your address was no longer valid. I've always wondered where you'd gone, till I read Dale Bass's column in Kamloops This Week about your blog. I'm not into blogs, I just want to send you a personal message, which I don't want anyone else to read. I just wanted to tell you what a great writer you are, and I really used to enjoy reading your columns. You really have a great "warped" view of the world as Dale Bass says, andI am very sorry that our great city lost you. Best wishes in your new job!
Hey Dana,
Sorry but I just love to hear about the shitty commute down there, love it, love it, love it! I get upset when Tim Hortons takes an extra ten minutes here, making my commute take fifteen minutes. All gloating aside, the temperature up here in Yellowknife for the weekend is supposed to be a balmy -37c with a windchill of -43. Whoohoo... is my Mom ever in for a shock when she gets here on Thursday. Glad to see you have a blog. Like yourself I will be glad to have something else entertain me other than people.com
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